How I Learned to Stop Worrying (About Frozen Pizza) and Love the (Ellio's) Box

As a hard-core foodie, I usually go to great lengths to avoid anything fast, fried or frozen. However, as a harried, hurried mother of two overactive undereaters, I sometimes go to greater lengths to avoid meltdowns (and dishes, I freely admit.)  It is no exaggeration to say I've tried everything to get nutrition into my tiny tigers. "Everything!" I tell the pediatrician, the endocrinologist, the occupational therapist and the dietitian whose lists of suggestions are longer than my to-do lists. 

Then there's Dad, who is much less paid than the aforementioned corps of kid professionals, and he says, "Frozen pizza. Try frozen pizza.  It's full of calories and fat. And they will eat it."  I say, "Not on my watch.  Do you have any idea how bad that stuff is?" The list of unpronounceable ingredients fills up the whole back side of the box--in a 4 pt font! But, then when Mom's night out comes along, I relinquish my rights and head out the door, fast. What I don't think about can't hurt them, right?

So then after leaving them with a sitter for the weekend (woo hoo!), I came home to find empty Ellio's frozen pizza boxes in the recycling bin. I was thankful for my time off and thankful that the kids (and the sitter) were still here when we returned. And, so I forgivingly and calmly and sat down  to read the ingredients...when what to my wondering eyes should appear? Here is a frozen pizza (i.e. a meal fully prepared and consumed by my children in under 30 minutes) with an ingredient list that nearly complies with my 10-agenda:  Ten or so ingredients that occur naturally and that I don't need a dictionary to define or pronounce. While this pizza does have a few more than ten ingredients, we'll give them a pass since there is  crust dough, sauce and cheese to consider.

Just look at this.  There is almost nothing in this list I wouldn't use in my own homemade pizza:

Enriched Wheat Flour, Water, Soybean Oil, Sugar, Yeast, Whey Protein Concentrate, Salt, Tomato Paste, Spice, Dried Garlic, Low-Moisture Part Skim Mozzarella Cheese.


Of course many would argue that enriched flour has its own ingredient list (and dirty laundry list), and I do not disagree.  I'm just saying, compared to any other frozen pizza I've encountered, Ellio's gets my vote for the least of all evils. (How's that for a ringing endorsement?)

Also, I got a free chuckle out of the warning on the box:

CAUTION: PRODUCT BECOMES HOT WHEN COOKED.


(Full-disclosure: I know nothing about the company that produces Ellio's, except that it has a real physical, google-able address instead of a Distributed by or Manufactured for address.  It may be run by the sanitation department of Lisle, IL, for all I know, but for the purposes of this post we'll suspend our disbelief, ok?)